As the waves crash blue around me...

I think a lot before I go to bed. There is something about the night time that fills my head with all of un-finished thoughts and song ideas etc. but mostly I just think about what's important to me. Usually they say that people think of what stresses them out. Bills they forgot to pay, issues with people or friends or lovers. But not me. I think of what made me smile during the day. Memories of things I miss and memories of things I still hold dear to me. It makes me happy and sad and confused and full of wonderment all at the same time. Life holds many things for us. I'm happy with what I've done so far, who I've met, the choices I've made. That's what I think about most.

I'll marry the sun

"I swear I'll marry the sun
And throw it's loving arms around me
And this will be a love
That will scorch my skin and bones

Well bring the pain and bring the nights
Where the sun lights up the moon
Because then all I will see is your shadow
But I know you'll be back to me soon"



Life has it's ups and it's downs. Sometimes it seems the lows in the roller coaster far out-number the highs. I think what we all need to hang onto is the fact that we will always have people in our lives that we share all of the ups and downs with. And these days that's a beautiful thought to think. We are never ever really alone. So come smiles or tears or fists of anger or pure unbridled happiness, there will always be someone there to share all of it.

Fight the good fight for as long as you can...

It's been a while since I've had something this important in my life. I will be strong. I'm going to pour everything that I am into it.

Baby, baby, baby

" I can't stand the sight of my own door
My eyes and my head were left on your floor
And my soul is on fire, my heart barley ticks
Because when you speak, sunshine pours in-between your lips

You keep me warm when it's winter
Happy when life is bitter
And every love song that I hear call out to me
I know it's because your name is hidden in the melody..."


Man, it's easy to write songs when I'm just thinking about her :)

Everything is everything...

"I philosophy
Possibly speak tongues
Beat drum, Abyssinian, street Baptist
Rap this in fine linen
From the beginning
My practice extending across the atlas
I begat this
Flippin' in the ghetto on a dirty mattress
You can't match this rapper / actress
More powerful than two Cleopatras
Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti
MCs ain't ready to take it to the Serengeti
My rhymes is heavy like the mind of Sister Betty
L. Boogie spars with stars and constellations
Then came down for a little conversation
Adjacent to the king, fear no human being
Roll with cherubims to Nassau Coliseum
Now hear this mixture
Where hip hop meets scripture
Develop a negative into a positive picture

Now, everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually"

Lauryn Hill-Everything Is Everything


I'll tell you, there is nothing I appreciate more in the music world than outstanding female vocals.

To Live And Die In L.A.

"Blind to a broken man's dream, a hard lesson
Court cases keep me guessing, plea bargain
ain't an option now, so I'm stressing, cost me more
to be free than a life in the pen
Making money off of cuss words, writing again
Learn how to think ahead, so I fight with my pen
Late night down Sunset liking the scene
What's the worst they could do to a nigga got me lost in hell
To live and die in LA on bail, my angel sing

To live and die in LA, it's the place to be
You've got to be there to know it, what everybody wanna see"




Man, why haven't I ever listened to 2 Pac before? He's pretty fucking awesome. I used to think rap was a joke growing up, more so because my parents were against it...and for good reasons. But these artists (yes, rap and hip-hop is an art form, you try doing that shit) are simply amazing. I've been turned on to a lot of rap/hip-hop groups and it's amazing to see another side of the music spectrum. I just wish I would have opened my eyes earlier.

Sun showers

And just like that. A dark patch of clouds in a sea of blue. You could see the line of when the rain stopped and started again. All the while the sun is shining. That was just awesome to see. Made me stop and relax and just take it all in.

Ya done son

U-Haul reservation for Monday: Done
Metro self storage unit confirmed: Done
Classes picked out for the fall: Done


Take that procrastination. Now for a fucking nap.

A simple task

So much to do today, it's hard to get started. That's the worst part (and feeling) is when you have to do the things you don't really want to do, but you know they'll make your life easier. I move out in less than a week and I have way too many boxes to pack, memories to leave, thoughts to think. I just wish it could be done. But shit man, that's life you know?


"I am a simply but a man
I have my share of faults
Some of them I can prevent
Some others I cannot

But the ones I have the power to change
Make me quiver at the knees
Because if I could change them rapidly
I could be who I dream to be..."

Procrastination is the devil. So is missing someone. And traffic. And Mosquito bites. And the knowledge that summer always comes to a halt each year. But what's good about this particular summer is who I have become. I still have some faults, this much I know, but I like who I am, who I'm with, the friends that have become closer to me and the greavences I've almost laid to rest. I also can't thank whatever force lead me to her, enough. This is the happiest I've been since I can remember :)


If you need to find me, I'll be packing my room up into cardboard boxes.

Albums on repeat lately...


Talib Kweli: Reflection Eternal
The Cab: Whisper War
Brand New: The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me
Anberlin: Cities


Especially that last one. These guys are so fucking good. Didn't really care too much for their first two efforts but god damn, these are some great songs. Definitely worth checking out.


"I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment
For the rest of our lives


I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first love
Till you're lying here beside me
With arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time"

Anberlin-Inevitable

"Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything you say
Anymore in the morning
Bricks to this old house are breaking
Steel would have weathered
It's alarming how loud the silence screams
No warning
Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit
And conversate to the sounds
To the sounds of a record player
With it's jumping needle and the lights that grow dim over time

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive"

Anberlin-Alexithymia

That's some good shit right there.

Sleep is hell with someone on your mind

I am a lucky guy. I need to start realizing that more.

Lyric

"I've found I'm not a man of the winter
I breathe fire when I sleep
And in my dreams I feel the winds of summer
And the warmth pours out of me"

Passion baby, passion

I think about what that word means sometimes. People throw it around a lot without taking into effect what it really means. To live passionately, to me, is to live for something, not just really digging your job or a new lawnmower you just bought. I am passionate about music, family, love, life, my friends. These are the things that make us who we are, not material objects. I was told recently that I have a passion for music and I guess I never really realized it until they told me. Music definitely is one of my passions. So is my relationship. So are my family and friends. Whatever is in your head most of the day. Whatever makes it worth getting up in the morning. The things you would give your life for. The things that have changed your life for the better. That is what it means to be passionate about something.

There is more to living than being alive...

I've been alone most of my life. Not the alone you would usually think. Doing things by myself. Spending nights in my room with my own thoughts. Doing things on my own time. I've had many friends and relationships come and go. I've met many people in my life and I am grateful for that. But for the last year or so I find myself wanting more out of everything. Life, love, work, music, just everything. But recently I haven't been alone at night. Or in the daytime. Even when there is no one in the room. I love who I am these days. Maybe it's the fact I came out of the winter with more optimism. Maybe it's what I learned from the recent ending of the band. But I wake up these days feeling like a better person. Mostly because I am waking up with her arms wrapped around me. All I know is the sun burns brighter. I am in love with being alive.