As this alcohol and nicotine course through my veins...

Pushing the tide away

"I can not hold this anymore
My hands are tired of only waiting to let go
And I am waiting...still

I used to know which way to turn
You were a light inside a tunnel in my head
I try to follow...still
I try to follow...still

It's hard to see you, we are older now
And when I find you, you just turn around
This is a black and white of you I've found
I hang you up and then I pull you down
I hang you up and then I pull you down

No more apologies from me
My arms are tired of picking up what I put down
You're all I think of...still

I'm gonna miss you everyday
I turn my back on anyone who won't believe
And it gets lonely...still
It gets lonely...still

It's hard to see you, we are older now
And when I find you, you just turn around
This is a black and white of you I've found
I hang you up and then I pull you down
I hang you up and then I pull you down

I get lost sometimes
Another year flies by
But I know if I try
Memories of the light in your eyes
Can take me back in time

It's hard to see you, we are older now
And when I find you, you just turn around
This is a black and white of you I've found
I hang you up and then I pull you down
I hang you up and then I pull you down

I don't hear music anymore
My ears are tired of all the pictures in the words
Cause you are in them...still"

Yellowcard-Hang You Up



There are still pages left of words I need to say. But maybe it's best to just let them go.

A drunken poem

I wish that I was there with you
Or that you were here with me
The snow is melting so fast
And it's making dripping sounds from the trees

I feel like the ice
Melting from the side of my house
I make puddles in the grass
I'm just a muddy version of my former self

I hear your voice in every little sound
I hear the sun rise
And the moon fall
And I love everything these days

How does a person
Make sense of every atom
Every song
Every picture

Well I've learned
It's with the heart
It's with the soul
It's with love

And who am I to say
I know the secrets
Because no one person could be farther
From believing anything

It's my mind that's damaged, my mind that's broken
My heart only pumps the same old blood
Through these same old veins
That don't understand the life I live

So let me be honest
It's my time to walk through fire
I've never been burned like this before
But I like you're warmth

And I like the way you burn away the frost
The never ending cold
I sleep in the winter
With the windows open

And as these nights pass
All I think about in my dark room
Is that I wish that you were here with me
Or that I was there with you...

I wish I could just let go.

“Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you..."

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's unfaithfulness in relationships.

I miss you so fucking much.

After everything

Sometimes all I want to say is goodnight.

Happy fucking new year.