Work night from hell...

Target lady Brians post.

Choir reunion...more on that later.

Every night and every morning is like deja vu.


But I have so much to be happy about. I forget that sometimes.

Profound and dumbfounded

So Kate is running towards a church; well, it might have been a church, in short retrospect it makes sense, she's in a wedding dress. It's nighttime and as she runs, her friends help her keep her veil on and she has her shoes in her hands. I use my hand to block my eyes because I'm sure I'm not supposed to see her in her wedding dress. So I turn back towards the building and step inside. I pace around and I notice the inside of this building is completely empty. So I walk outside. I walk to the back of the building and there is a Japanese style, tiered garden. I see Kate surrounded by all of the brides maids, who I couldn't make out the faces, but I'm sure it was Julie, Kim, Jenny, Ashley, Lindsey and Colleen. The groomsmen are there too.

And as I see Kate, she is crying. Makeup is running down her cheeks, but she is smiling. And she's beautiful. I walk over to her and kiss her and whisper something in her ear to make her laugh, a second later words were suspended in mid-air, not really attached to anything, they kind of just flew through my mind "I had to say something to make you feel comfortable with kissing me in front of everyone". She understood and we kissed one more time. So everyone walks back inside and now we are all pacing in the hall. Something is said about an airplane taking us to somewhere warm. We all cheer. I'm with the groomsmen changing into casual clothes and joking and laughing. A women walks into the room and tells us it's time to leave.



And that was it. I'm still swimming in this dream even though its been several hours. I'm not myself today because of that dream, and I can't tel if it's in a disturbed or positive way. I think positive, but who knows. It'll be a few hours. So I'll have to write about it later because it's time for work.



"It's you. It's me
And there's dancing
It's you. It's me
And there's dancing

Not sure if you mind
If I dance with you
But I don't think right now
You care about anything at all..."

You! Me! Dancing!-Los Campesinos

A Heavy Heart

"Baby, I'm a mess
This is more than any one man can take

I tried this time
To be stronger, almost like a mountain
But it's never strong enough

'Cause all I've ever been
Is the anchor to the wind
Keeping me from the places I need to go...

All this time you've been trying
To break a diamond
Now all I have left
Is this concrete underneath my skin

And my body feels so heavy
I'm scared I can't move on without you
But that's just the price I pay
For never breaking down ever again

So maybe I went about this all wrong
I should have stayed up in the clouds
Instead of going back to solid ground

So baby, I'll see you in the morning
When I rise up with the sun
And I'm gone before you feel the warmth

I tried to be strong for you
I tried to move on from you
Now I'm left with this body made out of stone
And a heart to match the world

I've grown into
A constant reminder of the past
I keep trying to race back to..."

Addison Park-...Imagine a Puddle

Happy birthday Kate.

Godammit sometimes...

There is something great about tonight. It's so still. Even though I usually dislike this time of year, the snow tonight, it's not so bad. Sweet dreams.

So many years...

Wow, I haven't had a heart to heart with Glenn in a long time. It was kind of refrershing. He brought over two beers and we just...talked. It's kind of weird actually, that I even have to mention it, two best friends sitting over a drink talking about shit going on in their lives as a ground breaking occurrence, but you know, it's kind of rare these days. But anyway.

I've really liked playing soccer this past month. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, but I've been practicing in my back yard, watching you-tube videos on soccer tips for your 6-10 year old, and I think it's helping. We tied and I interrupted three shot attempts by the other team. That's right Beckham, better watch it, I'm coming up in the soccer world, not really. It made me realize something though, I really needed a lifestyle change. All of this drinking and shitty food has started to take it's toll. I found that out the hard way my first minute on the field. Like most of America, I joined a gym and actually tried to go a good amount, but wasn't very serious about it. Well, at least for myself, I'm acting a little different these days. For the past couple of weeks, I've slowly started to wake up earlier, get to the gym, have a decent breakfast, do my errands or cleaning or whatever, all by 11 o'clock. It feels amazing.

Addison Park is slowly and by slowly, I mean fucking sloooooooooooooowly gaining it's strength back. This new song being posted has kind of made us all realize we still have something. It's exciting. I've been writing like a whirlwind. I have so many pages of words I have no idea what to do with them. But it feels good.

I can't believe it's almost 2011. What an amazing few years it's been.

"I wanna have friends that I can trust
That love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was
I wanna have friends that will let me be
All alone when being alone is all that I need
I wanna fit in to the perfect space
Feel natural and safe in a volatile place"

The Avett Brothers-The Perfect Space