Hmmmm I'm still wide awake. My sleep schedule has been a little off these past few weeks. I need to lay of the Whiskey.

I still wake up on only one side of the bed. As if you were next to me the whole night. I wake up in a position that I imagine would be the same as if you were next to me the whole night.

The new Sara Bareilles is blowing my mind.

"I don't say much, and it will stay that way. You've got a steel train touch and I'm just the track you lay. So I'll stay right here, underneath you."

I understand. At least I think I do. And in the end, I'm sure it will all make sense. I'm just so heart-broken...I can't stand it.

Some dreams makes sense if you really think about them. Last nights was an eye opener.


All I can remember of it, is that I'm standing outside of an apartment complex begging and pleading to a women to let me upstairs. I end up across the street outside another building and I get the bright idea to swim underneath the building I was trying to get into from the pool inside this other building. And I do. And it's Kates' new apartment. I spend hours trying to get her things, make her food, make her drinks, doing everything and anything in her apartment. I'm cleaning, I'm setting up furniture. But I'm not spending time with Kate. And she ends up shaking her head at me. And then I wake up.

I miss you already...