Where will life take you...

No one knows. But that's life you know? If it was what you expected it would be boring and meaningless. This year so far, I've learned so many things, loved so much and now as it draws to an end, it hasn't stopped. And it never will. Life goes on whether you want it to or not. I've learned recently I need to move with life. Not against it.

I get too comfortable. With life I mean. And love. When life goes good, I just sit. I think "Well I got here, so now I don't have to do anything." That's...well the simple way of putting it. It's a hurricane of thoughts whenever that subject comes up. With love and life, I lose the fight I think. It's not like I give up though. Let's try this again I guess.

With my recent band (well two years ago) we started doing really well, we wrote some pretty good songs and were on our way. So in my head I thought "Great, now I can just coast." I still worked hard, don't get me wrong, but I lost what made me get there in the first place. I lost a little bit of the passion.

With love, well I've really only loved with my whole heart once, I do the same thing, I get comfortable. That doesn't mean I don't love with every ounce of me, I do, I just think "Well, we have the love, hooray!" But life and love aren't a game. Once you receive good things that doesn't mean it ends. It's only just beginning. It constantly changes. Life constantly changes. Love constantly teaches you new things. Well, fuck. Thank god I'm starting to learn this at twenty-four (well, almost twenty-five).

I feel like I'm waiting for something. I've been waiting my entire life. I think I had it, but I was too wrapped up in everything. Too wrapped up in my selfish tendencies. Too wrapped in what I did or didn't deserve, who I was or wasn't. It's been that way my whole life. Anyway.

What I want to get out of life is completely different than what I wanted out of life five years ago. And I like that. It came at a couple of costs. I realized I can wish and want until I'm blue in the face. But I need to be the change I seek, to quote Ghandi a little bit. I can write in this blog and write in my social networking sites and can read and write and look up advice and do all of the mess except for what matters. Doing it.

So do it. And do it with love.


"She's a little too good for me
She's gonna change me if I let her
She's a little too good for me
But I'm getting better

I'm getting better
Yea, I'm getting better"