I realized something today. I've had a week to be sad. I've had a week to think the world was coming down around me. I feel selfish. Because I've put those feelings on someone as well. And it wasn't fair to them then and I'm not being fair to them now. I just need to be full of love and do the things I've said I will do. I need to move on. Bettering myself is a good thing.
The only question is how to move forward.
Every piece of advice says to do things my body and soul are not used to. I have no idea what's better for our future, either together or separate. I have no idea how to go about any of this. That, I think, is what's even harder. I've wanted to send her so many words about how I'm feeling, but I know that will only set me back. I've wanted to leave flowers and letters but it just can't happen. So I guess it feels like I'm doing nothing to help, but really, it's doing nothing that DOES help, but again, it's not in my hands to help anything. It feels wrong because I still feel the same way, but it's time for real life to set in. It's time for me to do what I feel like doing. So I'm gonna do it.
"Fuck I can't let this kill me, let go
I need some more time to fix this problem
I'm talking to the ceiling
My life just lost all meaning
Do one thing for me tonight
I'm dying in this silence
The last start left in heaven
Is falling down to earth and...
Do you still feel the same way
Do you still feel the same way?"
Blink-182- Here's Your Letter
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